behind these hazel eyes

I think I'm on the brink of something large



It's weird how life works. I look back at where I was a year ago and it is almost as if I don't know who that person is. Life changes so fast. People change so fast. I changed so fast. The thing about it is though, I don't remember the change happening. It just happened. You let go of the control you held onto so tightly and life happens. Let go or not, it still happens. It just seems a bit easier once you let go. And, sometimes life is good. Other times, it hurts...a lot. Somedays you cry harder than you've ever cried before. But, the thing about those hard times, the days where it seems the tears will never stop? They only make you stronger. It hurts so damn much fighting your way through those hard times. Those valleys where you just feel all dark and twisty inside. But, you fight your way through it and you make it out of that valley. The struggle is hard, but eventually you reach that mountaintop. And, the view is fantastic. Out of nowhere, you go tumbling back down and the whole cycle starts over again. It's like the footprints in the sand...during those hard times, it feels like you're walking alone. But, you're not. "It was then that I carried you." And God is there, through it all, even when you can't see Him or feel Him. He's still there and working. And then life goes on. You fall, you hurt, you grow, you change, you get stronger. It's weird how life works.

Kenny Chesney is officially the new love of my life. Ha ha. Just got back from seeing him, Dierks Bentley, and Carrie Underwood. It was absolutely freaking amazing!

My favorite pic of the night...


I am also quite fond of this one...hee hee...



When he sang "Back Where I Come From," there was a video reel playing on the screen. About 3/4 of the way through the song, they started showing stuff from around GR. The first thing they showed was no other place but Grand Valley's downtown campus! Which was also the last place from GR, too! Heck yes!

And, Uncle Kracker definitely made an appearance as well! He sang When the Sun Goes Down w/ Kenny. Then they sang Follow Me together, and finished up with Cowboy. [Kenny Chesney rapping is quite possible one of the most fabulous things I have ever heard in my entire life lol]

The show was amazing. Go see Kenny Chensey the first chance you get. For seriously.

I was sitting on my doorstep
Hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand
But I knew I had to do it
And he wouldn’t understand

So hard to see myself without him
I felt a piece of my heart break
But when you’re standing at a crossroad
There’s a choice you gotta make

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I’ve loved
To get on to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
Like falling when you’re trying to fly
It’s sad, but moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye

I know there’s a blue horizon
Somewhere up ahead just waiting for me
But getting there means leaving things behind
Sometimes life’s so bittersweet

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I’ve loved
To get on to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
Like falling when you’re trying to fly
It’s sad, but moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye

Time heals the wounds you feel somehow
But right now

I guess it’s gonna have to hurt
I guess I’m gonna have to cry
And let go of some things I’ve loved
To get on to the other side
I guess it’s gonna break me down
Like falling when you’re trying to fly
It’s sad, but moving on with the rest of your life
Starts with goodbye

[Starts with Goodbye//Carrie Underwood]

My current life theme song for the moment...it pretty much describes exactly where I'm at.



You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless like you’ve lost your fight
But you’ll be alright,
You’ll be alright

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand

Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you’re given before it’s gone
And start holding on
Keep holding on

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand

Yeah, then you stand...

Every time you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you starts to fall into place

‘Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
‘Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand

Then you stand
Yeah, then you stand...

[Stand//Rascal Flatts]

Mississippi was absolutely freaking amazing. Stories to come...

another one bites the dust...
So, another year is finished. I can't believe it's over already! It has definitely been a great year with a lot of fun memories I will never forget. I am so thankful for all fun, the laughs, the new friends, and the old. I know I should be graduating this year like many of my high school classmates, but to be completely honest, I'm glad I'm not. I don't know that I'm ready to leave this place. The homework and the tests and the quizzes, that part I'm beyond ready to be done with. But, I'm not ready to leave the social part of college. I love campus ministry and Young Life...I love walking around campus...I love playing pool and hanging out at Kirkhof. So, I'm glad I don't have to leave all of that behind quite yet. I have the rest of my life to spend in the real world...so I'm totally okay with it still being a little ways off. I really feel like I have grown and changed a lot in the past four years. I really am happy with the person I am becoming.

I'm excited for this summer. I think it's going to be awesome! I start off with a week in Biloxi, Mississippi doing hurricane relief work with 44 other campus ministry kids. I can't wait! We leave Sunday afternoon and I'm so excited!!!!!!!! Middle of May is the Miranda Lambert concert with Katie, which will be a blast. Birthday Bash is mid-June, Unity is mid-August. Coast Guard Fest. is the annual "can't miss" event. Hopefully, a road trip to North Carolina. I'm moving into my brand new, very own apartment in July. There's already so much super fun stuff lined up this summer. I'm ready for warm weather, days at the beach, walking the pier, Pronto Pups and Butch's...all the good Grand Haven summer stuff. I'm excited for time with friends, time to have fun.

Summer '06 is going to be amazing. And, it has officially begun!

I'm going to MISSISSIPPI!!!!!

It's a trip with campus ministry to Biloxi for hurricane relief work. April 30-May 7. I am so freaking excited! 31 days til we leave!!! I cannot wait to go down there and serve. I think it will be an absolutely amazing experience.

Four most recent jobs I have had in my life:
1. Student worker, GVSU Records
2. Cashier, D&W
3. Service Clerk, D&W
4. Baby-sitting

Four movies I would watch over and over:
1. 10 Things I Hate About You
2. A Walk to Remember
3. Napoleon Dynamite
4. Legally Blonde

Four places I have lived:
1. South A (GVSU)
2. Laker Village (GVSU)
3. Hills LC (GVSU)
4. Spring Lake

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. FRIENDS!
2. Gilmore Girls
3. 7th Heaven
4. American Idol

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Raleigh, NC
2. New York City
3. Orlando, FL
4. Washington DC

Four websites I visit daily:
1. facebook.com
2. myspace.com
3. gmail.com
4. weather.com

Three of my favorite foods:
1. Cheesecake
2. Buffalo wings
3. Krispy Kreme
4. Mac n cheese

Munchies:
1. Popcorn
2. Frozen grapes
3. Sun chips
4. Chocolate

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Spring Lake
2. North Carolina
3. Bed!
4. At a Clay concert ;)

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 70%
Stability |||||||||| 36%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Intellectual |||||||||| 36%
Mystical |||||||||||| 43%
Artistic |||||| 30%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Hedonism |||||||||| 36%
Materialism |||||| 30%
Narcissism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Adventurousness |||||||||| 36%
Work ethic |||||||||||||| 56%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Conflict seeking || 10%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||| 30%
Wealth || 10%
Dependency |||||||||||||| 56%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 63%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||| 56%
Individuality |||| 16%
Sexuality |||||||||||| 50%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Physical fitness || 10%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 43%
Paranoia |||| 16%
Vanity |||||||||||| 50%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||||| 76%


Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were very high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.


trait snapshot:

self revealing, neat, craves attention, prefers organized to unpredictable, needs things to be extremely clean, worrying, perfectionist, emotionally sensitive, respects authority, social, vain, does not like to be alone, likes large parties, controlling, social chameleon, not a thrill seeker, enjoys leadership, takes precautions, puts the needs of others ahead of their own, assertive, rule conscious, makes friends easily, always busy, heart over mind, phobic, aggressive, clingy, compassionate, dominant, outgoing, suspicious, hard working, strong

Life is good.  Very, very good.  Just a few reasons why...

• My dad is home from the hospital and feeling better!
• I have front row tickets to see Kenny Chesney, Dierks Bentley, and Carrie Underwood!
• Reese Witherspoon won best actress at the Oscars!
• Chicken Little presented an award (which was quite possibly the most entertaining moment of the whole night)!
• Rob Bell was back at Mars today!
• It is Spring Break!!!